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Monday, August 8, 2011

Spirit Wings

"Every heart has it's passion...
Doing what you love gives your spirit wings."

I came across this quote a few months ago on a blog...
And it's been crossing my mind quite a bit lately...
"Every heart has it's passion...
Doing what you love gives your spirit wings."
Doing what YOU love...
I'll come back to this in a moment...

The last few weeks I've been a little down. Mainly with school. I just never succeed in what I set out to do. For once, I'd like to prove to myself that I can do this, but sometimes my drive just isn't there. The drive to graduate never goes away, it's the drive of doing what it takes to get there that dwindles away. It's been a long time since I felt excited about my major (though I do love it..accounting for those who didn't know), and it hasn't been my first choice. My true love lies in English, mostly literature, but I love writing as well (is there a such thing as a professional research paper writer, if so I'd love that!). Ive always loved reading & writing, but literature sparks a fire in me. At my first or second semester at UTTyler, I took British literature & had the most amazing professor. I feel like that class & what that teacher helped me (and others) understand about literature helped me find, well, me. I found me in everything we read & studied. It all connected to me in some deep, magical way. After taking that class I immediately changed my major to English. But after a couple of years in Tyler, I made the decision to come back home to waco, and the colleges around did not offer English degrees (well ok, there's Baylor, but that was completely out of the price range). so I settled with my second choice (the more I write the worse I realize this is sounding), accounting. I love accounting, and it always makes sense to me (yes I must work at it, but in the end it makes sense). But It just doesn't put that spirit in my wings (back to the quote)...
I'm realizing more & more that for me to be happy job wise I've got to be doing something creative...there are tons of things that spark that creativity & happiness for me, stamping, scrapbooking, card making, decorating, designing, writing, reading, sewing, styling, crafting, watching movies (yes I categorize that is creative because I tend to see more into movies, just as I do with books than most people do), among many more things. In my perfect world I would have time & money to be able to devote my everyday to these things; I'd be a decorator, card maker, stationer, stylist, etc & it wouldn't matter if I made a lot of money, because I'd be happy. But the reality is I've got bills, just like everyone else. So until I have the financial means to make being creative my "job," I've got to figure out what else I can do to keep those spirit wings flying. Now, I do make cards, crafts & invitations to sell, but I can't advertise more & create more business without the time to do it (work & school full-time). It's one of those things where maybe some day I'll be able to make loveleigh letters my job, and advertise from here to kingdom come, but until I have the financial means to do so, I'm stuck. I'm rambling, back to those wings. I need to decide if I really want to continue accounting or pursue other options. I recently found a degree option that would allow me to focus on English & literature, and I think this would make me so happy. I'm hoping that it works out. I'm so happy In every other part of my life; I have this amazing, wonderful man, who I sometimes can't even believe is mine, he's made my dreams come true, a wonderful family, the greatest of friends, so much support with loveleigh letters, this amazing creative Space that I wish I could use everyday, but there's just a part missing, a big part, the perfect career for me.

P.S. I even think once I get a "real" degree, I'd love to take the wedding planning continuing education course thru MCC.

1 comment :

  1. You've grown so much in the past few months and it's great to sit back and watch it! You'll find your niche and you'll be great at whatever you do :) you're the kind of person that doesn't stop until she has what she wants, so I know you'll make it!

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