Monday, September 13, 2010

Along Came Charlie

#9--Complete, Part 2

With #9 on my 30 B4 30 list comes 2 means of completion. The first was in an earlier post, and now I have decided to go ahead and add the second miracle. This one is much more complex than the first miracle. However, like the first, this one is about a man. A man who has changed me forever. Before I get to this man, I should start from the beginning.

The Beginning:
In the sense of men and boys, I have definitely made many mistakes, and most importantly learned from said mistakes. The biggest mistake, which I no longer choose to refer to as a mistake (which you will learn why later on in this post), came along almost 6 years ago. Wow, I can't believe it was that long ago! Any how,  this person hurt me very much, not physically, but emotionally (which I think may be worse). It took me a very long time just to get away. Even when I did finally get away, I still couldn't grasp the concept of ever loving or trusting someone again. I was broken. No one could fix me. No one could love me. I wouldn't let them. I would not let a man close to me. I went on dates in hopes of changing this, but deep down all I did was shut them out. I found stupid reasons not to talk to them anymore, or stupid reasons why they were not good enough for me (in my defense some were very legitimate). I knew exactly what I was doing, and I was doing it on purpose. I would not let myself feel the intense pain of being hurt again. But if you asked, I would have lied, and would have told you I was completely happy inside, and perfectly content with being alone. 
It took quite some time to realize that I had to be happy and content alone before I could love again. I finally got to that point, but even though I was happy, I was still alone. Then, I remembered the line from The Wedding Date, "Every woman has the exact love life that she wants..."

The Middle (Along Came Charlie): Very soon after, actually, it was the same day I woke up thinking I'm going to open up again, my dearest friend told me about Charlie. I'm not going to lie, I was extremely leery in the beginning. First, we talked on Facebook for a while. Then, he asked me for my phone number, in which he had to wait quite a few days to get because I just couldn't make myself press the send button. We talked, texted actually, a lot. A whole lot. Next, he wanted to meet, which he made very clear in the numerous times he told me so. So my dearest friend, Laura, arranged the dinner/lunch meeting (we met her husband, Kyle (who works with Charlie), for their lunch (dinner for Laura & I, as Kyle & Charlie were both working nights at the time) break (which was conveniently only 30 minutes...I could withstand 30 minutes, right?). I was very nervous. I barely spoke to Charlie directly, just to the whole group, barely made eye contact, and neither did he. We didn't hug goodbye; we didn't say we'll meet again. But, we did meet for dinner, in the same way, a few more times. I was very nervous to hang out with him alone, as I hadn't dated or thought about being in a relationship for a very long time, and I wasn't sure I knew how. When we were together alone for the first time, things were so comfortable and simple. Since, we have really became inseparable, I'm not saying he doesn't get tired of me from time to time, but still inseparable. :) 

This amazing man has surpassed my expectations in what love truly is. I never imagined someone could love me so purely and sweetly, and I never imagined loving someone so purely and sweetly. In all of my wildest dreams, I never imagined a love so deep or strong, and it only grows more every day. And I don't think had I made mistakes previously (I think this applies to every human being) I would not truly & wholly appreciate & understand this amazing love I have found. This man is a miracle, because he made a believer out of someone who had little hope for herself, who thought she was broken, who thought she was unlovable.  This man means so much more to me than I could ever explain or express. I really could go on for days and days (ask Charlie!). :) He is lovely; he is kind; he is playful; he is beyond supportive; he wishes only success for me; he puts my happiness before his own (which sometimes causes a flurry, because I put my own before his); he is a wildest dream come true; he is a fairy tale.

The End: Fairy Tales have no end...

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